In her article Self-Regulation Doesn’t Exist!!
Robyn Gobbel, LCSW explains the importance of co-regulation and how we as parents or caregivers , even trusting loving partners can be so instrumental in helping others regulate their emotions. As Robyn states so well “What really works isn’t teaching self-regulation. It’s giving children experiences of co-regulation over and over and over again. Until their brains literally take in and imprint the regulated adult. Then the coregulation becomes internalized…but it’s still coregulation.” That’s what I love about Child Parent Relationship Training, that’s what I love about play therapy and involving the parents in my work. It’s all about the Relationship. Parents finally learn to demonstrate and affirm to their children “I am here. I hear you. I understand you.” In providing that Circle of Safety, the child learns to self-soothe, have freedom to express, share, explore and heal. It’s powerful and it works!
As parents, we know it is our role to prepare our children for the world they will live in. But we also want to protect them. We experience their growing independence and we become fearful. How do we navigate all these choices and freedoms the world offers them? How do we guide them? Instruct them? While also protecting and sheltering them?
Susan Merrill, founder of iMom and author of “The Passionate Mom: Dare to Parent in Today’s World” offers some great guidance in her 26 page Ebook “How To Prepare Your Kids for the World”. She helps parents, such as you and I, navigate our role as Wall and Gatekeepers for our children – covering everything from choices, school, friendships and free time to electronics, cell phone, social media, driving, dating, and college. Merrill states “You are so many things to your child. You are a wall—the one who will vigilantly protect your child. And you are the gatekeeper—the one who will diligently train your child for a future beyond the wall. The wall is the foundation for protecting, and the gates are the opportunity to test your child’s readiness to live well outside the wall.”
Attached are the links to her article in iMom as well as her Ebook. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.
And for more resources, please check out iMom (www.imom.com). It is by far one of my favorite resources as a therapist and parenting educator.
Good reading! How to Prepare Your Kids for the World — iMom prepare-your-kids-for-the-world